-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
support our troops
So I just found out that to be an astronaut you can’t be under 5’2” and this is BULLSHIT I never wanted to be an astronaut until I found out I couldn’t and now I feel like a dream has been crushed fuck you NASA
i don’t want to live in a world where we can’t launch danny devito into space
u gon let me in or nah
u think white ppl don’t have problems??? yeah well where’s my upper lip
ways people have tried to pronounce panini at work within the last 2 weeks:
sex in the shower? no. slip and bust my ass. break my dick. she slippin too. she knock her head on the tile she passed out. bleedin. i cant walk cause my jimmy snapped. thought this was gonna be sexy and we both end up half dead.
I laughed so hard. It’s so in sync with the song.
I actually cried laughing.
EVERY TIME THIS APPEARS ON MY DASH
this video this video is incredible
OMFG TEARS ARE ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS
*puts on blow by beyonce*
"make sure you clean that, it’s the only way to get the….
Coach Orny Adams vs. JR Bourne (x)